Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Saturday August 4, 2012.
In Their Element - 
134/365

Sunday August 5, 2012.
Cousins -
Finding a new brother means that he and I are beginning to build a relationship.  But it's not just our relationship that needs to be established.  I would love for his son and daughter, and my children to build a relationship as well.
135/365

Monday August 6, 2012.
Grace -
She's not the graceful swan, nor is she the familiar goose.  She doesn't have flock in which she can blend into.  I don't know who or what she is, and yet, even without fitting into the mold, she still is able to fly.
136/365

Tuesday August 7, 2012.
Rewards -
My Little Man and I went on a mommy son date to Baskin Robbins.  I splurged, and let him pick the chocolate dipped cone and extra toppings.  He felt special and let me snap away with my camera phone as a reward.
137/365

Wednesday August 8, 2012.
Pieces of the Whole -
I have decided to make a quilt.  As I cut the fabric and stack the squares into neat piles, I am thinking about how each piece will fit back into the whole.  I am also thinking of my Grandmother.  She was a quilter, and the inspiration for my desire to make a quilt.  She quilted, for each one of her children and grandchildren, a matrimonial quilt.  As I worked, I wondered if Grandma ever thought about the pieces that make up the whole her quilt and maybe even compared them mentally to the individuals that made up her family as she hovered over the table in her living room and created our treasured heirlooms.
138/365

Thursday August 9, 2012.
Ice Eggs -
I'm bored.  He hasn't said these words yet, but I know he is.  He misses his friends and the routine of school.  This summer it has been hard to get Charlie hooked up with friends to play with.  I haven't had much luck coordinating our schedule and his friends schedules.  To keep his spirits up, I've tried to find fun activities for us to do.  One of these activities was Ice Eggs.  I froze trinkets in a water balloon for the Little Man to melt away.  The idea was that he would put his Ice Egg out in the sun to reveal his prizes, but of course, it rained that day.  So, instead, I let him excavate (smash and dig) into the ice with tools.  I think he liked destroying the egg better anyway.
139/365

Friday August 10, 2012.
There goes another -
Get ready for the cute toothless stage, followed by the awkward nub of new growth, and finally, the equally awkward Chicklet stage.
140/365

Saturday August 11, 2012.
Traditions -
Every family has them, traditions that ties us to our past.  Growing up, Uncle Murry always held a annual corn roast on his farm.  Sadly, both Uncle Murry and the farm are gone, but a few years ago, my Mom renewed his tradition.  Mom's corn roast is not in a rural location; there are no tractor rides or visits down to the pumpkin patch.  Over the years, time has moved on: faces have changed, hair has become grey or fallen out, children have grown into adults who now have their own families, and yet, as different as Mom's corn roast is to Uncle Murry's corn roast they are remarkably similar.  At both you'll find children playing, excited to learn that their new friend is also their cousin.  You'll find the awkward teens who are at the edge of the group, not quite wanting to play children games, and not yet feeling grown up enough to talk with the adults, and adults of all ages will tell stories that start with, "Remember when?"  It is through seeing our children interact as we once did, sharing stories of the past and honouring traditions that strengthen the ties of our family's bond.
141/365
Sunday August 12, 2012.
Cloud porn -
142/365

Monday August 13, 2012.
Anxious -
I have a new job.  A few weeks ago I interviewed for a part time retail position and was offered management.  I took a big breath, talked it over with my family and decided to take the plunge.  Because the management position involves out of town training, my family will be on their own to take care of each other.  I know that they are capable of this, but I wanted to leave them with ideas and things to do together while I was gone.  The boys were anxious to do the craft I bought them and made it before I even left the house.  
143/365


Sunday, July 29, 2012


Saturday July 21, 2012.
Too Long -  
As much as we love these two, we only ever seem to manage a couple visits a year.  We ended the evening the same way we do every time: With the promise to not let so much time pass before the next visit. 
120/365

120/365
second shot

Sunday July 22, 2012.
Rain - 
Normally, it would be considered bad luck to have rain on a weekend, but this hasn't been a normal year.  We've had hardly any rain to speak of this summer.  So as odd as it sounds, the rain that brought with it  promises of freshness and renewal made me giddy with happiness.
121/365

Monday July 23, 2012.
I'm Under No Illusions -
I know who my kid is.  Usually he is sweet, kind and agreeable but sometimes - sometimes he is a little monkey.  
122/365

Tuesday July 24, 2012.
Summer Snacking -
Either radishes have changed radically since I was a child, or my taste buds have.
123/365

Wednesday July 25, 2012.
Good Fortune -
I spent the day thrifting with my mom.  We hunted and  hoped for good fortune while we looked about  for old treasures.  After, we went out for lunch.  The treasure was in the company.
124/365

Thursday July 26, 2012.
Dog Days -
I think we have officially reached the dog days of summer.  My kids are far enough away from both the last and the first day of school that it feels to them as if the lazy days of summer will last forever.  I know this midway point - this time where they need direction to keep their days busy.  But, on Thursday, after they shot down a bunch of my 'fun' ideas, I felt exasperated and deflated.  I left them on their own to amuse themselves while had my own fun.  I took the brushes, paint and the canvas I bought at the dollar store to the back deck for some quiet creating time.  Just as I  began, my boys appeared.  I quickly got them their own canvases and the three of us sat down to paint.
125/365

Friday July 27, 2012.
Elevate the Everyday - 
...its about found moments.
126/365

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Friday March 16, 2012
Run! -  I can't believe how fast March break went by.  Charlie and I rode our bikes to the park to meet some friends on Friday.  He missed his buddies.
360/365
Saturday March 17, 2012.
Get Back - It's probably hard for my kids to believe this, but I am always on their side: even when they are grounded.  It will be even harder for them to believe that when they are grounded, I am their biggest ally.  I ground them because I want what is best for them.  I ground them to help them get back to their best selves.
361/365
Sunday March 18, 2012.
Little Sister - John and I had a great visit with Donna and my big brother.  Seriously, I love saying that.  Big Brother. 
362/365
Monday March 19, 2012.
New Tricks-  The Little Man has been out bike riding with his dad.  Which is probably a good thing.  Because he would never have attempted (I would never have encouraged) his new trick -
a POP-A-FREAKIN-WHEELIE. 
363/365
Tuesday March 20, 2012.
In My Footsteps -
"I haven't taken a picture yet today." I said to Kenzie.
"We can go to Kerncliff." she answered with a smile.
Because she looks to me, because she walks in my footsteps, because I see myself in her, I strive to be a better person. 
364/365
Wednesday March 21, 2012.
I Can Almost Taste It - Longer days, playing outside after dinner.  Warmer temperatures, it feels more like May than March.  I can almost taste it, Summer. 
365/365

Thursday March 22, 2012.
Courage - I am anxious girl.  If I were a Muppet, I would be Telly monster, constantly running around on the verge of a panic attack.  Or maybe I would be Bert, so desperately trying to control everything.  From where I stand: I am afraid  of heights (actually it's more the fear of falling), of driving (crashing).  I struggle to find the faith that if I leap the net will appear.
366/365
Friday March 23, 2012.
Joy full - Saturday is my birthday.  Last year, I started a my 365, and today I get to reap the rewards of my work.  It fills my heart with such absolute joy to see my completed project.  I had planned to take a break from the 365, but have changed my mind.  Regardless of how much I have on my plate, I can't imagine my life without a daily picture to go with it.  365.3 - Bring it.
367/365

Friday, March 16, 2012

Tuesday February 28, 2012.
Together - It's the ordinary, everyday moments that make my heart skip a beat.  John was checking out some old cars online when Charlie sat down beside him, and started asking his Dad questions about muscle cars.  I love it when I am able to capture a glimpse of the love in my family.
343/365
Wednesday February 29, 2012.
Leap! - An extra day.  How did you spend yours?  It was rainy and cold here all day.  Not much fun at all.  I think the most fun I had was photographing Charlie jumping on his bed.  Why isn't leap day in July?
344/365
Thursday March 1, 2012.
Tooting My Own Horn - I'm feeling overwhelmed with school.  It's a lot more work than I had anticipated. BUT on the bright side I'm doing awesome.  So far, I have earned A's on all of my assignments.  A couple with 100% and one with a 95%.  Toot Toot!
345/365
Friday March 2, 2012.
Sassy Selfie - It's Friday, the sun is out and I'm feeling sassy. Bring on the weekend!
346/365
Saturday March 3, 2012.
Steak and um, Mushroom Pie for Dinner Tonight -  John and I stopped by the butcher's shop to pick up meat pies for dinner.  We laughed when we saw the "mushroom" that was stamped on top of the pie.  Oh dear.
347/365
Sunday March 4, 2012.
Thirty Eight Trips around the Sun -  Happy Birthday to my best friend. 
348/365
Monday March 5, 2012.
Coming Down From the Weekend -
349/365
Tuesday March 6, 2012.
Walk the Line - Sometimes life feels like a balancing act.  One step in the wrong direction and everything will all come tumbling down.  That's kind of my life right now.  Trying my best to keep my balance.
350-a/365

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Thursday February 9, 2012.
Golden -  My daughter with the beautiful, golden locks wants to dye her hair.  Brown.  She's sixteen, she has her own money - she can do what she wants.  But she asked for my permission, and I couldn't tell her it was okay.  I love Kenzie's hair, the silky texture, her cascade of curls, the way it glows in the light, I love it and  I would be so sad to see it changed.  So when she asked if she could dye her hair, I told her just that.  So far, she's still my girl with the golden hair.
324/365
Friday February 10, 2012.
One More Try -  I remember having my first panic attack when I was in grade one.  It was pancake day at school, and I was bringing the pancake mix.  I was so excited to have this honour and went off to school feeling proud and happy.  When I got to the end of our pathway, anxiety took over me.  It was happy anxiety, but anxiety nonetheless.  I sat on the little hill at the end of the pathway, confused of my fear and cried.  The school must have called my mom when I didn't show up to school, because she came and found me and sent me off to school.  My anxiety never really went away.  School always made the anxiety worse,  by high school I was absent more than I was there.  The fear seemed to paralyze me, suffocate me the fear kept me a prisoner in my own home. By the beginning of grade twelve, I could stand it no longer and I dropped out of school.  So here I am at thirty seven, hopefully older and wiser, ready to face my fears and give it one more try.  Today I signed up at the Adult Learning program.  Maybe this time...
325/365
Saturday February 11, 2012.
Everyday I'm Shoveling - Actually, he's gotten off pretty easy this winter, we've only had a handful of snowfalls, and Josh has taken his turn with the chore.  Not by choice though.  One day I said to him, "Josh you need to shovel the driveway."
"What?  I didn't know I had to shovel!" he said, completely taken aback that I was asking him to do physical labour.
"Okay, you're not in trouble, but you need to shovel the driveway." I said again.
So Josh went upstairs and got his coat and gloves on.  As he was putting his boots on he turned to me and tried once more.  "Umm, do you really want me to shovel the driveway, or do you just want me to play with Charlie in the snow?" 
Oh my gosh.  I think another grey just popped out of my head. 

326/365
Sunday February 12, 2012.
Easy Like Sunday Morning - I was talking to a friend recently, and she told me of her family's Sunday morning big breakfast ritual.  I would love this.  Growing up, Dad always made us big breakfasts at the cottage, bacon and eggs, pancakes, french toast or porridge.  I love the idea of the family gathering to start their day, and then I remember my family.  John wakes up grumpy, and everyone knows not to talk to him until after his second cup of coffee.  Josh and Charlie aren't all that hungry in the morning.  They would rather race downstairs to watch cartoons, careful not to wake their sister who fully admits that she isn't a morning person.  So the ideal Sunday morning big breakfast, gathering together to share our plans for the day aren't going to happen in my house. 
327/365
 Monday February 13, 2012.
Just Enough Information, please - Ignorance is bliss isn't it?  I'm playing with the idea of starting a new project.  A complex crafty endeavor that I have no clue how to complete, but I am confident that I can do it.  I went to the library to get some how to books for my hopeful project, looking for books with just enough information to motivate me, but not make me feel overwhelmed with the entirety of the project. 
328/365
Tuesday February 14, 2012.
My Loves - My heart beats faster when I think about how much I love my husband and my kids.  On Valentines day, I made a special dinner for my family.  Around the table we all took turns telling each other why we love one another.  It was a sweet day. xo
329a/365
 Tuesday February 14, 2012.
My Loves (part two) - My teenagers are finding new ways to connect, which makes me so happy.  On love day, the two of them sat together and giggled browsing through Kenzie's tumbler account. 
329b/365
Wednesday February 15, 2012.
It was a good day - I spent the afternoon in The Little Man's classroom, watching a classroom of kids get messy and create.  Charlie's class is an active group of kids, but once up to their elbows in clay, the class fell into zen mode.  I was reminded of the importance of creating, and what it can do to soothe the soul. 
330/365
Thursday February 15, 2012.
Lunch at the Park - Thursday was my first full day at school, and decided after an productive morning to take my lunch break at the park.  Thursday went so much better than when I went on Tuesday to meet my teachers.  On Tuesday I tried to work on the first assignments that I had been given. I sat at my desk and tried to concentrate.  One hour felt like six, and I left deflated, with little accomplished.
331/365
Friday February 17, 2012.
Nostalgia - Mom, KenzieKoogle.  For a few years, Kraft made flavored peanut butters.  I loved the cinnamon flavor and remember eating my last Koogle sandwich, not believing my mom when she warned me that it would be the last.  When I spotted the empty jar, I quickly reached to get it.  It now is sitting on the shelf in my kitchen along side the other empty jars, making the whole shelf feel a little less empty.
332/365

Thursday, January 19, 2012



My father warned me just after Kenzie was born that now that I had a child of my own, time would fly by - and it has.

On Sunday, Mackenzie will turn sixteen.   Even with the warning, the years have flown by faster than I thought possible.

In the past few weeks my heart has been flooded with memories.  In my minds eye I can see a little girl, skin speckled with mosquito bites making mud pies in the backyard.  Kenzie always had dirt under her fingernails, and her had was forever a tangled mass.  I remember brushing hair, the back so curly and fine that it was impossible to get the tangles out without hurting her - and I tried so hard not to hurt her. 

I also remember how cautious she was when she attempted a new skill, like her first time crossing the street by herself.  We had given her instructions to make sure she looked both directions.  Kenzie looked to the left, she looked to the right - no cars, she looked to the left, she looked to the right - no cars she did this over and over until she was confident that it was safe to cross.  And then a car passed by.  So she had to start the process all over again.  The poor thing stood on that corner a long time that day.  But she didn't give up, she didn't ask for help.

Another time Kenzie showed determination was when she taught herself to ride a bike.  At seven, John and I could see that she was no where near ready for the training wheels to come off, she just didn't have the balance.  But when she asked her Dad to take off her training wheels, John decided to give her a chance.  Kenzie tried for weeks to get the hang of it.  Over and over she would peddle a few strokes, then loose her balance and have to steady herself with her feet.  The neighbourhood all watched her try and fail, try and fail.  One neighbour came to me and suggested that we just put the wheels back on.  I didn't want to do that to her.  Because even though it was hard, she wasn't giving up and I wasn't about to give up on her either.  When she eventually did ride, I couldn't have been prouder.  It didn't come easy for her and she didn't give up.

Witnessing my daughter grow up has been one of the great gifts in my life.  Kenzie has a strength that I admire.  Because of her I want to be a better woman myself.   

Sixteen.  It's a big year.  She has been studying her driver's handbook, and has her first job.  At sixteen, she could meet the love of her life (I did) or have her heart broken for the first time.  This week, she brought home paper work for a SHSM (Specialized High School Major) in Health and Wellness.  Kenzie is planning long term goals that aren't so long term anymore.  I feel like she is on the cusp of something great and this will be the year she will soar.

I think that Kenzie believes this herself.  She has choosen One Little Word for 2012 as well.  FORWARD.  Seems appropiate.

Happy Birthday Kiddo, love you. xoxo














Thursday, December 22, 2011

Saturday December 17, 2011.
Most Wonderful Time of the Year - I love our cats, they are awesome furry souls, but I draw the line at getting them Christmas presents.  Seriously, my list is long enough without buying for the cats. Besides, I think our indoor cats consider having a tree in the house the best gift of all.
269/365

Sunday December 18, 2011.
Exhale - In our house, I cook and my husband plates up.  I took advantage of those few minutes Sunday night to kick my feet up and exhale.  Christmas was finally beginning to come together.
270/365

December 18, 2011.
His Shot- I am the family photographer so John doesn't often pick up the camera.  Sunday night, while I was watching TV with the kids, I asked John to take our picture.  Because being seen is important.  If you are the family photographer, step in front of the lens, ask someone to take your picture.  Twenty years from now you will want those images.  Your grown up children will want pictures of you.  Trust me, they will make fun of your style before they even notice that you don't have on a lick of makeup, your hair is a mess or you need to loose that last ten pounds.    
270/365

Monday December 19, 2011.
Elfed! - Charlie and I Elfed his friends on Monday night.  Being Elfed! is kind of like being Boo'd.  One friend drops of an Elf note, and a small treat at two friends homes.  The recipients then each drop off a Elf note and treats at another two friends home.  Hopefully reaching all the kids in the neighborhood.  I hope that the families that we Elfed have fun and aren't overwhelmed having another task at a busy time of year.  Regardless, Charlie and I enjoyed, sneaking around in the dark being Ninja Elves. 
271/365

Tuesday December 20, 2011.
Look Out Ol' Santa is Back!- On Tuesday morning I went to watch Charlie's school musical, December in Our Town.  I love watching The Little Man on stage.  At this age, he's so animated without any self consciousness.  So sweet.
(Also, just wanted to point out that I've over edited the photo on purpose.  I don't feel comfortable posting pictures of other people's children without their permission.)
272/365

December 21, 2011.
I Need Another Project Like I Need - Yet another what was I thinking moment.  Actually it lasted longer than a moment.  All morning my sewing skills or lack there of were tested.  The bobbin became a tangled mass of thread not once or twice but so many times I lost count, fabric became jammed into the machine and I broke a needle.  I was just about done when I realized that I had sewn the entire project inside out and up side down.  It was at this point that I got sweary.  I had to rip out the poorly sewn seam.  The seam that was both tangled, knotted and too tight.  I swore again.  And again.  And then I called my mother, took a deep breath and started over.  I had learned from my mistakes, so the second sewing went much better.  That is until I was about six inches from completing, and I ran out of bobbin thread.  grrrrr.....
273/365