When I turned 40 I wrote a kick ass post about what 40 was going to look like for me.
I was excited for forty and wanted to meet it with a clear sense of who I was. I wanted to be present. I stopped writing publicly and started to art journal. In a way I was meeting my grown up self for the first time.
What did I want? (time, space, connections)
What did I crave? (chocolate cake and coffee was really about sweetness,softness and energy.)
What made me greedy and when was I generous.
And above all else How did I want to Feel?
Capable. Sensual. Playful. Connected. Brave. Curious. Worthy. Free.
I felt that there were parts of my life that were the exact opposite of how I wanted to feel. Every day I got farther and farther away from how I wanted to feel. I wasn't being true to myself.
So I started over. I quit my job. I distanced myself from negative people. I signed up for a COLLEGE course. I made real, tangible goals for myself. Everyday I did a little bit more to make me feel a little more authentic.
A look at my authentic life...