Monday, March 9, 2015

Being Real

When I turned 40 I wrote a kick ass post about what 40 was going to look like for me.

I was excited for forty and wanted to meet it with a clear sense of who I was.  I wanted to be present.  I stopped writing publicly and started to art journal.  In a way I was meeting my grown up self for the first time.  

What did I want? (time, space, connections) 
What did I crave? (chocolate cake and coffee was really about sweetness,softness and energy.)
What made me greedy and when was I generous. 
And above all else How did I want to Feel?  
Capable.  Sensual.  Playful.  Connected.  Brave.  Curious.  Worthy.  Free.  

I felt that there were parts of my life that were the exact opposite of how I wanted to feel.  Every day I got farther and farther away from how I wanted to feel.  I wasn't being true to myself.  

So I started over.  I quit my job. I distanced myself from negative people.  I signed up for a COLLEGE course.  I made real, tangible goals for myself.  Everyday I did a little bit more to make me feel a little more authentic.  

A look at my authentic life...